friends and frienemies alike!

Today was a day to reflect on friendships.  Its ironic how the same themes and topics pop up repeatedly in a day.  At my meeting this morning we talked about expectations and I talked about how my friend is late.  Always late.  She is famous for it!  And I talked about how my biggest pet peeve is lateness in people.  It drives me insane! And at the meeting I told them how I dont know how I managed to not go completely insane with my friend of 22 years who is always late, but it seems when she does it, it doesnt bother me, and I didnt understand why.

I figured out why within 2 hours of the meeting.  I went to meet her for lunch and one of the first things she says to me is: can you believe I am on time?  Well we talked through lunch and we talked about friendships.  We talked about how sometimes you are a total douche to your friends, and its not cool, but its ok, cause when it matters, you are there for your friends.  Thats why her lateness was not an issue.  I knew I could count on her - to be late, AND to be there.

Why does this matter in the grand scheme of things? Well, it matters because not everyone is able to be a true friend.  For whatever reason.  It might even be a good reason, but does it mean we should have to still put up with them?  The nice and good thing to do is to give everyone a chance.  To let them fall and help them up.  If they are sick, you want to help them.  But I think its important to think about what will happen if you are the one who is sick!  Who will help you? Who can you count on?  Those people you just thought of when you were answering that question are the ones you should be giving 95% of your time and effort to.

I dont think you have to necessarily cut people out either.  But give what you get.  Dont offer more than a person is willing to do for you, but make sure you are giving as much to the people who are giving to you.  Those are the ones that deserve your time!

This comment from today was something that made me think too:  I shouldnt judge people when they tell me dirty secrets or stuff they have done.  I should feel honoured they chose me to share this with!   This intimate little tidbit of themselves is a big deal, and not something I should hold over their head or give them the evil stink eye of judgement over.  Its a treasure, whether I agree with what they are telling me or not.  I wanted to type that out so that I could come back and see it and remember this clarity.