So here it is the morning after.
I woke up surprised to find out that I am still a control freak. I dont know if I thought awareness of the fact would erase it that quickly, but I was disappointed. This might take some work. And thats the problem. I dont know what it is that I have to do to lose control.
If I just float along and have no control over anything, then what? Am I at the mercy of fate? Can I blame everyone and everything else for my problems because I gave up control of my life to get better and therefore its not my fault? Is there something I am missing here? I have to be missing something here.
My whole life is about control. I dont know how to cope without being in control of everything. Even the things I dont really have control over, I still manage to find a way to get some kind of control of it to make it manageable.
I really hoped I would wake up today and it would be fixed through awareness.
My journey through a program for people who have been affected by other people who are addicts.
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